the first of firsts | day 1 of 2013

“It is nothing to die. It is frightful not to live.”

Today is the first of firsts.

It’s the first day of a new year—a year that I know will be marvelous, because I’ll be forced into a new chapter of my life in which countless obstacles and adventures are awaiting me. I’m no fan of the new year’s countdown and insist it’s just another day; yet, I love this clean slate, this fresh start, and like every year I looked forward to cracking open a new agenda book that I can fill with what will become memories.

But let me start with this: I am awful at new year resolutions. I never bother making them, because I will, without fail, forget them by the next day. I also haven’t truly had enough time to myself (or the energy) for a long time to do “me” things. Don’t get me wrong: it’s not as though I was unhappy being a busy-body and constantly being surrounded by people I love and being out at events or shows. Those were great memories; but I miss the self-exploration, the things that make me think, make me grow, and make me, well, me. Things like this—writing. Things like discovering new music (like the New Music Monday posts I used to do). Or things like reading popular culture critiques, watching nerdy documentaries or biopics, and spending hours reading Wiki articles about wars and international conflicts.

I suppose in 2013 I want to write more. We’ll start with that. (And see how long this lasts.) About my experiences, thoughts, the joyful occasions, unfortunate mishaps—all the memories that I will form in these 365 days with family and friends. I have much to look forward to this year. I’m excited to spend time with those I love and those I will learn to love.

I’m writing all formal-like and pretending all my posts will be this intellectual and mature, but lord knows that won’t be the case. Far from. And this is all so cheesy anyway. I get into these moods…

My first day was spent with family, with lots of laughter and tears. I can’t recall the last time I went to the cinema with my mum and sis. But today we watched the beautiful Les Misérables. I bawled my eyes out…and burst out laughing near the end (during the saddest scene, obviously) because I realized the entire theatre was probably doing the same, that we were likely all trying to keep quiet and pretend to not be crying. And then everyone ruined it by clapping when the film ended. Don’t be one of those people unless you’re at a screening. Please.

More like this to come I hope. Writing daily will also force me to make every day memorable. At some point I might have to get creative…or enlist help. Any takers?

And oh man, that Eddie Redmayne captures my heart every damn time.