“XO til we overdose…”
Part of me is mad at Drake (aka Aubrey Graham) and The Weeknd (aka Abel Tesfaye) for bringing everyone into my world of XO.
Yes, I claimed it to be my own. There is something so beautiful about the marriage of the letters x and o that had/have me loving the idea of kisses hugs intimacy relationships love. It’s simple, meaningful, yet so tragic.
When I began this post, I had The Weeknd’s “Next” at the top. I have been listening to the Echoes of Silence mixtape on repeat despite thinking, just months ago, I’d never fully enjoy his music. How wrong was I to dismiss him and his work. Browsing through Tumblr just now, I stumbled upon Beatrice Martin (Coeur de Pirate)’s reblog of The Weeknd’s posting of that song. When I went to The Weeknd’s Tumblr, I was reminded of the XO symbol now so ubiquitous and popularly associated with him and Drake. The “XO Gang,” they call themselves.
I was suddenly reminded of what XO means to me—what it meant to me, not now but years ago when things weren’t so…what’s the word…composed.
If Elliott Smith was still alive today, he would be turning 43 this August. I can only imagine how his life would have turned out: I dream of a world that becomes inspired by his music, his talent, and his emotions; but the reality is likely that the same tragic ending would nonetheless have occurred somewhere down the road. It almost seemed inevitable that he would part from us too soon, his life too short-lived (but maybe that’s all/what he wanted/needed).
Elliott Smith’s 1998 album titled XO changed my…life—I hesitate to use this word in fear of demeaning what I’m getting at, but I have no better way to put this. His music effectively changed my outlook; He made me feel like I belong; I could relate to him, although I knew I could never understand all that he went through and how he felt.
He empowered me to love. And all that I can do to thank him for his influence is to live my life as happily and confidently as I can, always seeking the positive in every situation, person, success, and mistake.
Looking out on the substitute scene
Still going strong
XO, Mom
It’s ok, it’s all right, nothing’s wrong
Tell Mr. Man with impossible plans to just leave me alone
In the place where I make no mistakes
In the place where I have what it takes
